Communication Between the Sexes

Men need to know these nine words/phrases women use:

(1)Fine - This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes - If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing - This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead - This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh - This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay - This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks - A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome', that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever - Is a woman's way of saying "I'm done with you!"

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it - Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

In Memorial...

This Memorial Day is the first that neither Wayne nor I have any parents left on this earth. Tomorrow we'll visit their graves as a gesture, a way to remember, a reason to talk to the kids about people who were so pivotal in their lives, yet so quickly forgotten in the frenzy of youth.

Today I recall some of the things they taught me, lessons first learned and best remembered when they spring from the lives of people I respect.

• No matter what you're going through, this too shall pass.
• Don't sweat the small stuff. It's only STUFF.
• Only what's done for Christ will last.
• When you go outside this house, act like somebody.
• Don't forget your raising.
• If you're over 21 and over 100 pounds, you can make up your own mind.
• They can take everything you've got, but they can't take your spirit unless you give it to them.
• You're never too old for me to turn you over my knee!
• Guard your good name. Without a good name, nothing else is worth much.
• When you give your word, you see it through.
• A tithe is only a starting place, not the finish line. Everything we have is God's.
• "Yes, I'm the meanest mother in town. Thank you very much."
• If we don't have it, it must mean we don't need it.
• It's all in the Lord's hands.
• Grandchildren are the heritage of old men.
• Healthy kids around your dinner table--It doesn't get any better.
• If God gave you talents, He expects you to use them for Him.
• Don't show up at Heaven's gate empty-handed.

*

In addition to teaching me how to live, my parents taught me how to die. Each of them battled rapidly advancing cancers, only two years apart. Still in their sixties, it was tempting to cling to life, demanding healing, hysterical with disappointment.

*

Instead, they approached death with humor and a calmness that gave the rest of us strength. "It's all in the Lord's hands," my mom would tell her doctors as they struggled to give her news they were sure would devastate her. Often it was she who comforted them as they told her how sorry they were that there was nothing they could do.

*

My dad languished two months, bedridden in the hospital, trying to die. Yet he always had a cheerful word and a sweet "Thank you" for the nurses, orderlies, even the night janitors who entered his room. It was the nurses who cried the day his spirit left his body.

*

I believe it is only those who've learned how to live who can show us how to die. I only hope I do half as well when my time comes.

My goal for the week: Hebrews 12...

...let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus... so that we will not grow weary and lose heart.

Run like a champion this week!

Stress

The major topic in my life these days seems to be frustration. Am I supposed to be learning something here? Frankly, I'm weary of "learning something." Everything that could be fouled up is: from my husband's job situation to two cars and a mower that can't seem to be fixed. A crippled child still without her leg brace, a job application that should have been resolved 8 weeks ago...The list goes on.

What's the purpose? Why does everything in life have to be so stressful? Is it getting more so? Makes it hard to enjoy the blessings when they are shoved out of the way by the screaming problems. Is life in the 21st century western culture becoming so fast-paced, filled with "necessities," politically-correct mandates in every corner that we are finding it hard to breathe? Meanwhile character and integrity and value is plummeting.

It's not about materialism or "keeping up with the Joneses"--whoever those people are--but about trying to survive in a society that is moving faster than we can keep up.

Does anyone else feel exhausted?

Happy Mother's Day!

To all the moms--and mine in Heaven...

A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"

God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."

God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."

Again the small child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"

God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"

God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."

"Who will protect me?" God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."

God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."

God said, You will simply call her, "Mom."