Hello. My name is Babe. I'm the newest member of the McCombs family and I've got some things to say.
Thought you might be interested in what really goes on around here. They're pretty decent humans on most accounts. The food's pretty good and there's plenty of birds to chase. Cats, too--when they let me.
But I had no idea who really ran things when I agreed to move here. At first I thought it was the little boy who loves me, but we rode all the way home in the very back seat with not a single sniff stop and I started getting the picture.
Then, I thought it might be the lady who feeds me. She seems to be in charge of everything. She makes me take medicine I do not like. I clench my teeth and send her strong eye messages, but she acts like she doesn't understand and down it goes anyway. Then she took me to a place with wild smells that made me nervous and the next thing I know, I'm waking up with a slit in my belly and everybody's petting my head and saying, "Now you won't have to worry about puppies."
Well, I wasn't worried to start with, but what can you do? I'm still a bit miffed over that, but I'm licking their hands anyway to show I'm a good sport.
I never even suspected the man of being in charge. He's pretty much on my level: sleeping all the time, eating messy, getting yelled at. He's one of my kind, I'm pretty sure. But he leaves my food alone, so we get along fine.
No, the truth was made clear to me right off the bat. This whole house and big running yard are clearly controlled by one furry contraption they call Yankee. Now, I admit, we Irish Setters are not well known for our high intellect, but I know when I'm not in charge.
I'm not sure what this thing is that hovers over our mutual food dish and makes growly noises in her throat when I walk into the room. She's started taking her naps right beside the food dish so she can catch me if I so much as ask for a drink.
I could eat her in one bite, but being a gentle lady, I refrain. Besides, she's so hairy I can't imagine getting all that out of my teeth. She controls when I can eat or get a drink until the lady catches her and scoops her up and talks babytalk to her while I grab a bite or two.
Now I don't want to come across as jealous or bitter. I'm just not that kindof gal. But what I would like to know is: How Do You Get That Job?