Prideful Humility

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Phil 2:3  

Alphonso flashed his award-winning smile as cameras snapped. “Get a couple more orphans in this shot,” he murmured to his press secretary while resting a manicured hand on a toddler’s fuzzy head. “Alphonso! Alphonso!” journalists shouted. “How much have you donated to this project?” The superstar lowered his gaze in practiced modesty and waved a dismissive hand. “A little over ten million, but really it’s nothing—” Fans cheered from the scarlet-roped viewing area, drowning out the next question. Alphonso exchanged a wink with his accountant. Ten million was a small investment that paid off in publicity. Charity work was rewarding in itself, made him feel like a good person. But it was also tremendously profitable—if you did it right.

“Prideful humility” is a paradoxical term that needs to be added to our dictionaries. Guilted by constant reminders of how blessed we are, we can be tempted to publicly demonstrate our generosity. We’re so used to posting and tweeting every minute detail of our lives that we can forget what true humility looks like. Culture’s attitude is: If you can’t Instagram it, why do it? This verse nails us. We do most things out of selfish ambition and vain conceit, but Jesus reminded us in Matthew 6:3: “Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.” That means that we should give, serve, love, and forgive quietly and privately because God sees our inward motivations. He wants to reward us for eternity, but He can’t if we’re already rewarding ourselves. When our greatest desire is to please the Lord, it doesn’t matter who else knows. God does. And that’s enough.

How often do you make choices simply to please the Lord without anyone else knowing about it?

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Prideful Humility

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. 

Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.  Phil 2: 3  

Alphonso flashed his award-winning smile as cameras snapped. “Get a couple more orphans in this shot,” he murmured to his press secretary while resting a manicured hand on a toddler’s fuzzy head. “Alphonso! Alphonso!” journalists shouted. “How much have you donated to this project?” The superstar lowered his gaze in practiced modesty and waved a dismissive hand. “A little over ten million, but really it’s nothing—” Fans cheered from the scarlet-roped viewing area, drowning out the next question. Alphonso exchanged a wink with his accountant. Ten million was a small investment that paid off in publicity. Charity work was rewarding in itself, made him feel like a good person. But it was also tremendously profitable—if you did it right.

“Prideful humility” is a paradoxical term that needs to be added to our dictionaries. Guilted by constant reminders of how blessed we are, we can be tempted to publicly demonstrate our generosity. We’re so used to posting and tweeting every minute detail of our lives that we can forget what true humility looks like. Culture’s attitude is: If you can’t Instagram it, why do it? This verse nails us. We do most things out of selfish ambition and vain conceit, but Jesus reminded us in Matthew 6:3: “Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.” That means that we should give, serve, love, and forgive quietly and privately because God sees our inward motivations. He wants to reward us for eternity, but He can’t if we’re already rewarding ourselves. When our greatest desire is to please the Lord, it doesn’t matter who else knows. God does. And that’s enough.

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Compared With...

We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. 2 Corinthians 10:12

Glamour and Vogue speak loudly. So do the Emmy’s, the Grammy’s, and whoever votes for People’s Sexiest Man Alive. We scroll through endless channels hearing messages such as: “I used to be ugly, boring, and fat like you, but then I discovered Wonder Machine/pill/activity/toilet bowl cleaner! Now look how happy I am!”  We don’t realize how much we’ve internalized those messages until we analyze our self-talk. It sounds something like this: “Look at their new car/RV/house/kid. Sure beats my car/house/plants/spouse.” Or: “Why aren’t I gorgeous/rich/educated like that person?” And after scrolling through 50 Instagram selfies of our friend’s Tahiti highlights, our Branson vacation looks pretty lame. Comparison destroys contentment.

However, the flip-side of comparison is self-promotion. Our culture has elevated bragging to an art form. We have enough sense to cloak it in pretend humility, but in an effort to convince ourselves that we’re worthy of being admired, we post things like: “Humbled that my art/song/talent/looks beat out hundreds of other contestants to win this great prize! #greattobeawinner. We don’t mention that the competition was in kindergarten. When we compare our real lives to the highlights of others, we take our eyes off Jesus. We compete with them instead of loving them. Since we become like those we study, comparing our lives with Jesus keeps us humble and content. When we’re keeping up with the Kardashians, we stop keeping up with Jesus. 
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Peter Pompous and His Cronies

 

 

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

Peter Pompous is the image that comes to mind when we think of pride. Some snooty guy or girl who struts around like they are all that and box of bubble gum. But a haughty spirit can show up in ways that are not so obvious. Toddlers demonstrate this side of pride when they insist that they want to “Do it myself!” They try to do it themselves and end up with a mess, after which they throw a fit. We often throw fits like that too when we end up with a mess. We may become irrationally angry, blame someone else, or pretend we don’t care, never realizing that pride is the passion behind the tantrum.

Some people even brag about their pride, as though it was a virtue. “I’ve got my pride!” some good ol’ boy announces when he refuses help during hard times. It also presents as spiritual excuses: “I didn’t want to bother God with this.” “God gave me a brain, so why should I have to ask Him what to do?” “I dropped out of church because I can’t find one I agree with.”  We may strive to appear autonomous, like baby turtles hatching from our shells, but we’re not baby turtles. We’re human beings and we need help—from God and from others. Refusing to admit that fact often results in a humbling crash. Wise people have learned to welcome opportunities to humble themselves, because it is far better to humble ourselves than for God to do it.

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Corrupting Pride

 

“Your heart was corrupted by pride…your wisdom corrupted by your love of splendor.” Ezekiel 28:17

He was breathtakingly beautiful. Dazzling colors flashed from his jewel-encrusted body, while music emanated from him as though his very being was a symphony. He breathed out harmonies that filled the universe and made distant stars sing for joy. His power and authority were unchallenged, limited only by the One who created him. But it wasn’t enough. Being second in command was not enough. He narrowed his amethyst eyes and said to himself, “I will be like the Most High” (Is. 14:14).

If we ever wonder how God feels about pride, we have only to look at Lucifer’s downfall. Pride is the elevation of one’s own importance beyond what God has allotted. Pride was the first sin. It twisted God’s perfect universe and defiled the humans who were created to be like Him. And God despises it. He can’t work in and through us when we are drenched in pride. Lucifer’s pride was obvious, but ours is not always so clear. Lucifer’s pride manifested itself as overt arrogance and defiance of God’s right to be God. We sometimes follow his example when we refuse to bow the knee or the heart to God’s authority in our lives. But pride wears many other masks and can disguise itself so well that we hardly recognize it. This week we will look at a few of those masks and identify some places where pride may be limiting God’s power and presence in our lives.

Are you mimicking Lucifer’s pride? Are there areas of your life in which you insist on being your own god? 

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Pride on Its Back

Often what we call humility is just pride wearing a different hat. 

When I struggle with temptation or drift off course a bit, I am shocked at myself. I beat myself up over it, feeling that in order to be humble, I must be appalled at my own tendency to sin. But actually, that is pride. Did I think I was beyond such fleshly temptation? Did I consider myself immune to the struggles common to everyone else? Why should I be surprised at this reminder that my sinful flesh as susceptible to temptation as anyone's? 

It is only pride that fuels such indignation when I find myself in a struggle. True Humility acknowledges that I am incapable of any good thing apart from the power of Christ. True Humility is never shocked when I am weak, but is pleasantly surprised when I don't give in. 

Self-recrimination is only pride on its back.

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Who's Your Nathan?

Sometimes we get too big for our britches!

Even those whose hearts belong to God can get off track to the point where God cannot reach them. He dials; nobody answers. But another wonderful thing about God is that He doesn't quit trying.

David was called "a man after God's own heart." He was God's hand-picked king and spoke with Him face-to-face. David wrote many of the inspired Psalms and was a mouthpiece for God Himself.

But he got too big for his britches.

He turned a stubborn face against the Lord and followed lust instead. One lust led to another until David had innocent blood on his hands. But still he refused to hear God.

So God came at him another way. He used the prophet Nathan. Only when confronted with God's words from another person would David listen.

God does that with us, too. Even when we have heard from God, we know His voice, and we follow Him, we can get off track. We get too big for our britches. We start following our own ideas, lusts, opinions, and desires. We start thinking for ourselves rather than seeking God's thoughts. And we get off into the ditch.

Sometimes even then, we turn our stubborn faces away and keep trying to make it right our own way. But God doesn't give up. He keeps trying. And sometimes he uses other people.

Has God sent a Nathan to you? Has someone spoken God's words right into the middle of your sin? Some people get angry at the Nathan who dared point out their error. 

One thing David did right when shown his sin was that he repented. On the spot. He allowed God's truth to penetrate and demolish the tower of cards he had built and he turned it around. He fully owned what he had done and stopped it. That's called repentance. David repented before the Lord and humbly took the discipline he deserved.

You have a choice when your Nathan confronts you. You can stiffen up in self-righteous anger, or you can follow the righteous example of a man after God's own heart. You can repent, accept the discipline you deserve, and move on to be everything God wants you to be.

Keep an eye out for your Nathans. God sent them.
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A Messy Business

What makes the biggest mess when it swells and bursts?

This substance can lie dormant for long periods, bubbling occasionally, but for the most part, drawing little attention to itself--until it is stirred.

Stirring causes it to inflate instantly and become toxic. It swells and explodes, coating everyone in the vicinity with its grainy slime.

This toxic substance is called pride.
Spiritual pride.

It masquerades in a thousand costumes, rarely looking the same on any two people. But it leaves a distinctive odor that becomes easier to detect the more often you see it.

There is another substance, that when added to the first, creates a reaction like adding vinegar to baking soda: instant explosion. The second substance is Truth.

You can find hidden pride easily by stirring the soul with a little Truth. Truth poured on top of spiritual pride can blast a hole in the wall.

And the explosion is usually shocking because the soul harboring the pride is rarely aware of its presence. Those harboring it have spent a lifetime renaming it, taming it, and justifying it so that when it explodes they do not recognize it.

Instead, they attack the one holding the stir stick.

God hates our pride more than anything else. It was the first sin. Satan invented it and he has been poisoning souls with it since the beginning of Man.

But we love it, don't we?

It feels good, looks pretty, plumps up our often sagging egos, and sets our minds at rest about our own worth. We can even be prideful about how humble we are, defining humility in a myriad of ways, none of which takes the shine off our mirror.

But let a little personal truth get close to it, and watch out. A word fitly spoken, a negative character trait obvious to everyone but the pride-holder, a soft rebuke...and there it goes! Old Faithful, spewing wrath and self-righteous indignation.

"Why, how dare they!"

"You take that back!"

"How dare you judge me..."

The very mouth that piteously declared its unworthiness to God that morning retorts in self-defense that afternoon. The same lips that cry, "God, I am unfit to be your servant," now cry, "How dare you insinuate that I am not perfect!"

• What if we took the top off the whole mess by welcoming helpful observations from those we respect?
• What if, instead of leaping into instant self-protection mode, we actually listened?
• What if when we asked for an honest opinion, we actually meant it?

Think how much further along we could be in God's School of Character-building if we would actually do our lessons.

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Shame on You!

It lurks in the darkest recesses of your mind, nibbling like a starving rat at your peace and joy.


Any attempt to drive it away turns it into a monster, as it reminds you it has every right to be there. It's not an impostor. It's not an undeserving guest. You've earned the right to keep company with it and it's now here to stay.


It masquerades as humility, but that's only a disguise. In fact, it is the exact opposite of godly humility. It is toxic shame.


That event, that moment when you could have done something different but you didn't. Those choices, those actions that got out of hand now loom like Goliath in your conscience. You've prayed for forgiveness so many times you're afraid God is weary of your pleas--but still it hunkers, glaring at you every time you try to feel good about yourself.



You're right. God is tired of your whining, but not for the reasons you think.


Scripture warns us, "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble."


Proud??? (I can hear your incredulous gasp from here.) Proud? I feel anything but proud. If you knew what I did, how I failed, you'd know that I just can't forgive myself.
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Oh really? Has God forgiven you?
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Well yeah, sure. He always forgives when we ask, but...I can't forgive myself.
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So what you're saying is that your standard is higher than God's. You're saying, "Thanks God for letting your Son die for my sin and promising to forgive me when I ask, but frankly...that's not enough. I need to punish myself."

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No! No, that's not what I'm saying...well...maybe it is.

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Toxic shame is pride flipped upside down. The shame that lingers long after God has cast your sin as-far-as-the-East-is-from-the-West is not from God. It's coming from inside you. Your pride. God isn't as hard on you as you are, so you're taking his offer of forgiveness and trying to improve on it. You know better than God whether or not you should be forgiven. Isn't that pride?

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Satan loves to taunt you with your failings, throw them up to you any chance you give him. Scripture even reminds us that he is an "accuser of the believers," and we glibly go right along with him, believing every acidic thing he tells us.

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So what's lurking in your past? Having trouble letting go of the shame? Feel as though you don't deserve to get off that lightly?

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You don't. None of us does. That's why God's grace is so amazing. But trying to add to what He's already done is tantamount to a slap in His face.

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God is the ultimate authority on right and wrong. If you've repented of your sin, ask his forgiveness, and trusted in His Son's sacrifice to make you right with the Father, then nothing is left for you to feel shame over. It's done. It is finished.

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Don't let pride keep you from enjoying it.

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