Bitter Roots

Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness 

grows up to trouble you, 

corrupting many. 

Hebrews 12:15

Every family’s got one. Most workplaces and churches have several: those people who announce how much they hate drama, but produce it everywhere they go. What they really mean is that they hate drama that doesn’t revolve around them. Drama and conflict cling to them like dryer lint. That aunt who isn’t happy unless she’s miserable. Or the brother who blows a gasket over the weather. Even that lady in small group so broken by her divorce 20 years ago that every discussion ends there. The irony is that these people won’t recognize themselves in these descriptions. Could you be one of them? Ask a friend you trust.

When we live with a root of bitterness, it shows up in every disagreement. Little slights or mistakes become World War III. Making it worse, bitter people ignite bitterness in others. They gravitate toward people having a disagreement and add fuel to the fire, pretending to help, but gaining converts to their cause. Bitter people often take their hurts to the internet. Their not-so-subtle posts flood our newsfeeds: “Marriage means getting your heart broken.” “I need a church that accepts people.” “If you don’t repost this, you’re not my friend.” Their bitter hearts are salved for a while if they get enough “likes” or comments, but attacking an enemy via social media is like firing a sawed-off shotgun at your entire Friends List. It misses the real target, but creates a lot of casualties. Bitterness poisons every relationship, including the one with ourselves.

Proverbs 20:3 has an even stronger name for people who create conflict. Make sure it’s not describing you.

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When Bitterness Takes Over

 

Tamar had to be wondering what was wrong with her husband-selecting skills. Husband #1 was wicked, so God killed him. She married his brother, but he was a jerk and God killed him too. The bio clock was ticking louder when Tamar and her father-in-law Judah turned inquisitive eyes on the youngest brother. Since he hadn’t even started to grow facial hair, Judah advised Tamar to go back to her father’s household and wait for the little guy to grow up. 

But Tamar’s track record made Judah nervous, so when it came time for little brother to marry, his dad picked a safer bride. When word came through the grapevine that her double-crossing father-in-law had married off little brother and bypassed her altogether, bitterness set in. Tamar disguised herself as a prostitute and seduced Judah. Only when she revealed she was pregnant with twins did he learn her identity. Tamar got her babies and her revenge, but at great cost to herself and her family.

When bitterness takes over, it closes minds, hardens hearts, and causes us to become people we never imagined we would become. Bitterness is an open door to a staircase leading downward to broken dreams, broken relationships, and broken fellowship with God. But God promises to redeem even our worst mistakes when we trust Him with them. Despite the fact that their son Perez was conceived in prostitution and disgrace, God chose him to be a great-great-granddaddy of Jesus Christ.

What has bitterness cost you? God will redeem it if you let go and trust Him with it.