You Might Be From Oklahoma

For all my fellow Oklahomans, some observations about our grand state and its people.

You Might Be From Oklahoma if:

• You’re wearing shorts and flip-flops to gather firewood for tonight’s forecasted blizzard.


• You think people from the other 49 states talk with funny accents.


• You hear someone with a northeastern twang and wonder if English is their second language.


• Your safe-room is better furnished and cost more than the rest of your house.


• You see a demolition site and wonder how big the tornado was.


• You don’t find it at all unusual to see a herd of cattle grazing in someone’s front yard.


• Your idea of going to the beach is to wait for the big spring rain and watch the river come to you.


• You have yet to go from one town to another without paying a toll.


• You have or know someone who has experienced a family split over the Ford/Chevy debate.


• You know the proper use and recognize the misuse of the word “ya’ll.”


• The fake accents in the musical Oklahoma grate on your nerves.


• You think California pretty much gets what it deserves.


• You find the term “Bible belt” condescending.


• You’re starting to get a little aggravated about all the illegal Mexicans swarming into your state.


• You think the Second Amendment is part of the Ten Commandments.


• You know people who would walk out of the hospital on two broken legs rather than miss hunting season.


• You consider anyone living north of Kansas a liberal Yankee.


• You’ve ever been asked if people in Oklahoma live in teepees and drive tractors to work.


• You’ve ever been asked if you have an oil well in your backyard.


• You’ve ever HAD an oil well in your backyard or driven a tractor down the highway.