What's Your Worth?

When was the last time someone said something to you that shook your self-image? Was it an undeserved slight? An overt attack? An accusation?

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We are all at different points on the codependency scale, but for most of us it doesn't take much to impact our opinion of our own worth.

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Codependency can be broadly defined as looking to someone or something to meet a need that can only be met in Christ. We all instantly disqualify ourselves from that, but the truth is we are far more dependent on the opinions of others than we like to admit.

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In the Bible, King Saul was very codependent. He was always conducting popularity polls to find out where he stood with the people. He often made decisions based on how it would make him look to his people, and even to God. When things were going great for his kingdom, he felt great about himself. But when the tides turned, he grew insane with jealousy and his self-worth plummeted.

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On the other hand, Jesus was our perfect example of someone living in an imperfect situation without allowing the choices of those around him to affect his self-worth. He knew that one of his hand-picked followers was eventually going to betray him, yet we have no record of his ever treating Judas any differently than he treated the others. Of all the crowds that flocked to hear him, ate his super-food, and sang his praises, only a handful were left when things got scary.

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Most of us would have reacted quite differently than he did. We would have loudly defended ourselves, decried the disloyal ones, and gotten in the last word. Or on the other hand we might have bent over backward to make them like us better. Maybe we would have made the super-food a weekly occurrence and had Judas sign a loyalty pledge.

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So how do you handle the mistreatment or misbehavior of others in your life?

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Do you allow their problems to affect your worth?

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Do you believe the lies and misperceptions, constantly rechecking your responses to see if the meanies might be right?

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Do you work overtime to clean up their mistakes, cover for them, make excuses, pretending you are doing it for them but all the while knowing your superficial service is done so that you look better?

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God's will for each of us is that we let him meet our basic needs for love, security, self-worth, and significance. When those needs are fulfilled in Him, we don't have to force others to meet them. We're free to let others learn from their mistakes without worrying that their downfall will pull us with them. When we are secure in Christ's love and acceptance, the opinions of man roll off more easily.

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So who gets to decide how valuable you are? The fickle whims of man? Your own fluctuating value system? Or the unchanging standard of God?

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Saul made the wrong choice and he paid the price for it. Jesus knew Who determined his value and because of that, he was able to endure God's agonizing plan without it ever affecting his self-image. He knew who he was. He knew who he wasn't. And no one--even Satan himself-- could shake that confidence.

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Wouldn't it be great if we all followed His example?

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