Gay and Christian? Can it be?

Hi, I`m a lesbian and a Christian. I believe in God. I go to church. I try to do right by Him.  I don`t think God would condemn me to hell because of who I love. Can you explain to me why? I`m not hurting anyone or doing anything wrong... Am I really going to hell?

I can sense the frustration in your question and I hope you hear sincerity and compassion in my answer. Finding truth starts with dismantling some fallacies and inaccuracies buried within your question that you most likely did not realize were there. It is my prayer that as you read this, the truth will begin to illuminate the confusion that has prompted your question.

Illumination begins with challenging some terms you have adopted and by which you have labeled yourself without realizing the full implications of doing so. First, let’s define the term “Christian” as the Bible does. Since no one has the right to define God or His plans except Him, then we have to adhere as closely as possible to what His Word tells us. Scripture says we are all sinners (Romans 3:23, 3:10). According to the Bible, we all deserve hell for our sin and rebellion against God and His righteousness (Romans 6:23). So our condemnation is not based upon whether one sin is worse than another. We are all equal in our depravity and all deserving of God's judgment.

Jesus said, "Wide is the path that leads to destruction and many are on it, but narrow is the path that leads to life and few are they who find it" (Matthew 7:13-14). So who are those few who find eternal life? The religious people thought they were surely on the right path. The self-righteous thought they were too. The people with the right pedigree, or the right church membership, or the right set of religious beliefs all thought they were fine. After all, they believed in God, went to church, tried to do right, and were certainly not as bad as some people.

Jesus answered that question when a man named Nicodemus asked Him the same thing. Jesus’ answer was that we must be "born again" (John 3:3). Jesus used that illustration because we all understand birth. In physical birth, a new creature emerges that did not previously exist. A human baby resembles the parents and she immediately begins to grow. As she grows, she looks more and more like them.

Spiritual birth is the same. Birth pangs begin when we recognize that we are hopeless sinners, undeserving of God’s mercy. We understand that He sent his own Son to take the punishment our sin deserves so that we could be forgiven. We recognize that it was for our salvation that He was raised from the dead so that we would no longer have to be mastered and enslaved by the very sins that He died for.

But this recognizing is not salvation. Neither the awareness of truth nor the mental appreciation for it is salvation. The outward display of Christian activity is not salvation. Jesus was clear what it takes to become His follower. He said, “If anyone would come after me let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me” (Like 9:23). That cross he referred to is the death of our fleshly nature--the part of us that likes to sin. If we want Him, we have to be willing to let Him replace our old self with a new one. We have to have a total change of mind about our own sin and who is boss. The bible calls that “repentance.” Without true heart repentance, we cannot be saved. We don't earn this gift from God. Our good deeds do not impress Him. The new birth is a divine paradox: a free gift that costs us everything we are. Only a change of heart and a change of ownership grant us entrance into God’s family.

So the first question you must answer is this: “Have I truly been born again?” Many people make the same mistake that the religious people of Jesus’ day did. But 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature. Old things are passed away; all things have become new.” Scripture requires that we examine our lives, not our ideology, and ask ourselves this question: "When did I become a new creature? At what point did my life, my desires, and my perspective switch from my own way to God’s way?" If no such change has occurred, then most likely no new birth occurred either. In that case, then no sin is worse than another, because we stand condemned before God already.

The second fallacy we need to address is your self-designation as “lesbian.” Satan cons many people into identifying themselves by only one aspect of their fleshly natures. To define yourself by your sexual temptations is like someone else saying, "Hi. I am a kleptomaniac. That is who I am and you need to accept it.” Or, “Hi, I want the world to define me by my overwhelming desire to lie.” Or another saying, “The most important fact about my identity is that I am a cutter. I'm not hurting anybody, so I don't see why it matters how much harm I inflict upon my body.” When we begin to define ourselves by our sin, we have fallen into Satan’s trap and are totally missing the truth.

The truth as God defines it is this: We are all human beings created in the image of God for His glory and pleasure (Colossians 1:16). Since we are His creation, He knows best how our lives should be lived. The Designer also wrote the instruction manual. He created each of us as either male or female. He also designed sexuality and placed healthy restrictions on its use. Electricity is a good and powerful invention, if it is used correctly. Used wrongly, it can destroy. 

Sexuality is a sacred thing, the design of God. He alone can define its use. The Bible is clear that sex was created to be enjoyed between one man and one woman who are in a covenant marriage until one of them dies (Matthew 19:6; Mark 10:8). Any use of sexuality outside those parameters constitutes abuse of God’s gift. “Abuse” is the use of something or someone in ways for which they were not designed. The Bible calls this sin. Adultery, premarital sex, pornography, and homosexual relations are all outside God’s design, which makes them sin.

When we give our lives to Christ and enter the kingdom of God, we transfer ownership of everything to Him. That’s what the Bible means when it says that we are saved by making Jesus LORD of our lives (Romans 10:9). We no longer have the right to defy His stated will for us. Our lives belong to Him and lour goal is to glorify Jesus, not please ourselves. Self-worship is what earns us God’s judgment in the first place. We cannot worship self and God at the same time. He does not share His throne.
If you have spent any time in the scriptures, then you know that homosexual behavior is condemned all the way through the Bible (Leviticus 20:13; Jude 1:17). Probably the strongest warning is found in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 which says, “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.” 
The people who will not inherit the kingdom of God are those whose lives are defined by their sin choices. Temptation is not a sin. Same sex attraction is not a sin. Acting on it is. Lust in your heart is (Matthew 5:28). Every evil thing listed in this verse starts in the heart as a temptation. God is warning us that if we allow those things to become who we are by acting on them, we cannot also be followers of Jesus Christ. We cannot follow both sin and Jesus. They are going in opposite directions.

Some people will argue at this point that they “were born this way” and, therefore, acting on those urges is unavoidable. They justify their sin by convincing themselves that God must have made them this way, so why not indulge. The truth is that there is no medical evidence whatsoever that anyone HAS to sin. We are all born with a sin nature. We all have different weaknesses and temptations. For some men, remaining faithful to one wife feels impossible. A man may argue that his sexual needs are not being fully met and, therefore, he should have the freedom to sleep with other women in an open marriage. Even if his wife agrees to it, adultery is just as sinful. Sin is not always about hurting someone else according to our standards. Sin is about violating God’s standards.
An alcoholic fights tremendous urges to drink. But when he gives his life to Christ, his desire changes and he now wants to do whatever necessary to curb those sinful impulses. More than gratifying his flesh, he wants to remain faithful to Jesus, who warns against drunkenness (Galatians 5:21; 1 Peter 4:30).  Jesus said, "Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?” (Luke 6:46)
 This was a rather long response because your question deserves a complete answer. The questions as you stated them could not be accurately answered in that form because they were based on some false assumptions. I encourage you to let God take an honest look into your heart, not through the screen of self-justification, but with an honest desire to know Him. God loves you. He designed you for Himself. No amount of self-gratification is as satisfying as a life totally submitted to the lordship of Jesus Christ. I urge you to tune out the world's opinion of who God is and what He says and let His word speak for itself.

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