Was it Enough?

She did it! WE did it! Congratulations, Susie!

Another high school graduation is over. Three down, one to go.


High school graduation means something entirely different for a homeschooling mom than it does for other moms. It's OUR graduation too, although our little darlings will not understand for years exactly what we mean. They'll never know the hours of preparation, study, worry, frustration, prayer and more prayer that got them to this moment. But was it enough?
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They will never know the years of second-guessing every decision: Did I choose the best curriculum? Would she have done better in another school environment? Did we cover history well enough? Would she have...Did she...Did I...Was it enough?
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Every mother has those doubts about her parenting, but when you've been led to homeschool, the total responsibility falls on your shoulders alone. There is no one else to blame if Little Precious can't do math, can't conjugate a verb, or can't find the United States on a globe. There's no teacher to berate, no school system to snub, no principal to sue. It's only YOU.
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So when you walk across that stage and hand that black leather folder to your child, it's the end of a journey for you as well. You've spent eighteen years hacking through a jungle in which you held the only machete, whacking away at ignorance, tearing through the tangles of red tape, making the tough choices, financial sacrifices. You deny yourself the privilege of being NICE MOM and choose instead the role of TOUGH TEACHER to ensure that this child gets the best start in life you can provide.
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You know it will be years, maybe never, before they understand what they've been given. You watch them chatter excitedly in their black caps and gowns, see the excitement in their eyes as they talk about following God, hear the sincere innocence as they learn to follow His voice for themselves.

And as you hear their passion for reaching the world with God's beauty and truth, you know you did your job, but wonder if they'll ever really understand.
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But as you sit there, listening for your child's name to be called, you hear another voice--the Still Small One who called you to do this in the first place: "Well done. You did everything I asked you to. I'm proud of you. I'll take it from here."
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And it doesn't matter if they ever understand. HE does. He is pleased with your obedience. And that's enough.

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