Memorial Day--Six Years Later

Six years ago this weekend I sat inside a chilly intensive care unit, listening to the hiss and beep of a dozen machines that were keeping my daughter alive.

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That time also marks the beginning of a journey of faith for me. As I stared at the lifeless form of my eleven-year-old child, I heard the whisper of God: "Do you trust me?"

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I only had two choices: I could rant and rage, let panic engulf me and doubt beat against my heart like a battering ram. I could allow this tragedy to tear me apart, destroy my faith, and leave me bitter and angry.

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Or...I could give my child to God and let Him decide the outcome. Either way, I knew I would never be the same.

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"My ways are not your ways," I knew He would say and that was an understatement. My ways would never have allowed for this. My ways would never offer the choices we were given: vegetative state, paralyzed, non-functional, crippled...

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"My ways are higher than your ways."

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Do we really believe that?

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We do when it's about other people. We wax eloquent when we peer into the lives of others, but what about when it's YOUR child in a coma? When it's YOUR marriage that's falling apart? When it's YOUR financial crisis, heartache, or failure? Do you believe it then?

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We would never choose many of the paths God chooses for us because our goal is comfort, ease, and happiness. His goal is holiness. His goal for us is that we become more like Him and He chooses specific circumstances for each of us in order to accomplish His goal for our lives.

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I would never have chosen the path He ordained for my daughter, but I'm so glad He did. His purpose is being accomplished in her every day. Her lifelong disabilities are God's mark of ownership on her life and she chooses to honor Him with the life He gave back to her. It wasn't the same life she left. That's gone. But the new one accomplishes God's goals for her far better than any choice we would have made.

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The photo above was taken by Susie. I like it because it's an expression of her spirit that dances free under the protection of God, despite her many challenges.

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You have only two choices about your struggles as well. You can fight them, grow angry, and doubt God's sovereignty. Or...you can give it totally to God, and forfeit your right to approve the outcome.

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Either way, you will never be the same.

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Happy Anniversary, Susie!

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See http://savingsusie.blogspot.com/)
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